Perfection is my midweek messy. The house is actually(semi) clean as I spent a large part of yesterday afternoon folding laundry. When the eldest came home I had him clean his room and it inspired me to do a mid-week vacuum as well. The younger two boys are running track this spring so I feel like I have an extra hour to get things done on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons before the daily dance of homework and dinner making.
Oh that perfection though, it messes me up somedays; the desire to be the best, to be perfect at whatever I do. This desire doesn't always surface out from underneath my skin, but I think that the small girl in me, who never seemed to do anything quite right, so wants to be perfect at...something. This leads to quite an awkward outlook on life at times because it hinders my ability to see clearly or at least to have proper perspective on things. Perhaps my perfection is a desire to compete, a deep desire to compete with my Self. However healthy competition may be, I don't think that this internal struggle to be
perfect, the lofty pedestal I place things I want to do or make, is healthy; especially because upon failure, I want to abandon ship, leave my wrecked project on a forgotten shore.
