sing song swing of summer

details are subtle. lawnmower outside. plants need watering. music from the oldest's stereo. exhausted, the middle is up, yawning, waking from a mid-day nap. the youngest, hiding out playing games in his makeshift fort.

slowly returning

we will be slowly returning back to california today. driving back through my beloved mountains and then out back across the desert. we will do it in stages. letting this time out here, pull quietly away from our physical selves, to in turn, rest in our memories of summer.

xxoo

29 of 52 :: portraits of the boys

the boys in their element, in the mountains of colorado.
               The oldest is scheming with his youngest brother to help the younger build a "dam" with sticks and rocks in the creek. The youngest is working hard on his dam while the older two are hiking with their dad. And the middle, happy as a clam having caught a lizard.

blog love: Erogene's glorious captures of her two littles; Belinda's beautiful black and white captures of her three; Greer's beautiful girls outside in the winter;  and sweet little smith all tuckered out.

how has your week been? xxoo

what is happiness

happiness is a walk in the woods with my boys, high above the world. contentment. happy lucky me watching them build dams. running with their dad. freeing themselves, momentarily, of the chains of the day to day. stretching out, making-up stories, heralding their imagination to the moon.

mothering, a round, full circle

in a round.
in a circle.
i come back around
to my childhood,
to my home,
looping back,
to the beginning,
to the place where my mother's illness grew.
where the ALS* spread slowly,
taking her body away from her,
taking her away from us.

like the seasons that circle us,
where the cycles encircle us.
round, i spin back
and also forward,
dusting away the thick motes of memory
and the holding pool of hope in my hand.

so i come back,
back around, in a circle,
walking through my childhood
my home. circling around in my mother's thoughts.
circling around death
 and life.

and the strength of my children.
and the strength in my children,
circles, back around,
back around, from my mom to me.
a circle, round, holding me
in.

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*ALS is also known in the states as Lou Gehrig's Disease, however abroad it is know as MND (Motor Neuron Disease). There were many visits to Colorado last summer and fall as my mother was dying from ALS. She died this past November of 2012. This is my first visit to Denver since her death. So in this trip, I am very much thinking of her.  

linking in with Lou for her Nature in the Home Series. 

hope you all are well. xxoo

rain along the way.

As we traveled along the road to Colorado, big dark clouds gave way to rain; much needed in this dry drought ridden area.  The forrest fires have been intense this summer out here in the west. The sky seemed to be hiding the much needed rain. We all watched as the ground opened up and drank in the much needed moisture; the desert plants seem to blossom with green right before our eyes and the dry soil became dark and fertile once again. The rich red hues were made glorious by the dark skies and pelting raindrops.

across the desert. into the sky.

the sky became a doorway. looming large around us.
my eyes opened to the journey ahead, across the desert.
a starting point into my heart and an opening of my soul.

and the desert. 

whispering ghosts of lives lived and lost.  

stories built up and broken down. 

battered in the sun, tempered in the rain, 

racing in time and memory.  

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joining in with bedsidesign for foliophoto.
are you traveling these days? where are you going? xxoo

28 of 52. portrait of a boy.

The youngest. Thoroughly enjoying licking the spatula after making brownies for his middle brother's mini-birthday party last weekend.  We have been traveling this week, driving many hours out of California, across the desert, returning to our Colorado, and the mountains my husband and I grew up with.

Blogging has not been getting done as I had planned due the busy-ness of packing, traveling and sporadic internet connections.

So just one sweet photo of one sweet boy for this weeks portraits. Promise to do better in the coming days. 
               xxoo

climbing into July.....

Climbing into July.

The house slowly descends into chaos. 

Cushions piled high, then higher still. 

Boys who long to jump from heights, 

dreaming of parachutes and catching a little wind. 

A mama who gasps a bit too much, but pulls out her camera anyway.

foliophoto with bedsidesign. xo

27 of 52 :: portraits of the boys

photos above: the younger two, up to imaginative mischief in the back yard.

photo below: the oldest, interrupted while reading, and very much looking the part of the oldest.

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blog love from last week's portraits: Luckybeans dapper three. They look so clever and smart in the pair of glasses they found// Little Beds sweet photos of her two// This darling sweet boy standing on his two feet. The joy radiates from his sweet smile// These two. Max's sweet babes, one fishin', the other sittin'.// The joy and silliness over at Little Buckles. The colors are so vibrant and these two are beyond cute.

how has your week been?  I would love to know. xxoo

the quiet::holding onto time

It is quiet here this morning. The boys are sleeping in a smidgen. And I am taking the chance to relish in the atmosphere of it all. The dogs are at my feet. The sun is slowly waking up the world. I hear my husband getting ready for work in the back bedroom, but the boys dream on. I realize that despite all the glory of summer, there have been very few moments for me to just be quiet with myself; holding my soul in a space a part; slowing my thoughts and listening to my breath. I love summer in all its lounging and boyness, but it has been filled to the brim with my children and I hadn't realized until this moment how noisy my head has been with my busy bodied babes and their adventures (and in-fighting grumpiness that occurs when you are getting used to being around each other all the time again).

So far this summer has been interesting. The oldest is slowly pulling back from the day-to-day play of the younger two boys. He is absorbed in his books and his music these days and I sense that the younger two feel him pulling back a bit from childhood as well. He has always been an old soul, mature and caring, so it is not a surprise that he is entering into this phase, even though it makes this mama's heart ache a bit for the boy in him.

The younger two are growing in leaps and bounds as well. The middle is sprouting. And the youngest, lost his first baby tooth last night, just after I took these photos of him in our bougainvillea in the backyard (searching high and low for something red to photograph for Lou over in Littlegreenshed). There have been days where the younger two have fought like crazy, but they have also had days like yesterday, where they find a beautiful happy medium, immersing themselves in creative play and imagined adventures. I am so thankful for each one of my merry men. They have pushed me and pulled me; made me grow as a human in ways I never thought possible.

Yet I am ever so grateful for the moments when I can be quiet, stop for a moment and hold onto time. Taking in the slow breath of life. The slow brewed coffee. Yesterday's memories. Writing for a hushed small bit of time, uninterrupted. These are gifts for a mother's soul as well, just as the busy squishy hurried moments are.

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What ways are you finding the quiet (or are you) these days? Do you find it easier or harder when your children are home all day on holiday? How do you step back and hold onto time amidst the chaos? I would love to know. xxoo

linking with Lou, theme: red at Nature in the Home

mothering :: poetry in circles

the quiet rim of your glass after milk has been drunk,
stained, a foggy white
with the small circled line left behind
on the deep auburn wooded table.

baby lips circled in a laugh.

blinking back tears made in your saucer cupped cerulean eyes.

life as a mama seems to be made in circles.

the baskets made for carrying,
the circle of the hands that wrapped around you when you were born.

the polka dotted thumb prints on the once clean window,

honeyed golden circles on hot biscuits,
tiny parts crumbling, dancing around your plate.

the way my life encircles yours
then at the end of the day, always circles back around.

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::foliophoto with bedsidesign 

(Sandra from raincoast creative salon is taking the summer off)

next week the prompt is climb. 

Click through to bedsidesign and find out how you can link up and join in the fun!

xxoo

well hello july!

Oh the magic of July,
                     the long stretch of summer and all of her freedom.
A month defined by no school whatsoever, blissful heat, long days, swimming, & playing. It is in these sweet moments that I imagine that life as it is could stretch on forever. I ignore the siren call of the return to school in August, instead I dream of foraging new adventures with the boys, digging deep in gardens and late evenings under the stars.  I must reassure you, so that I don't represent any sort of false magical tale, that is not always cheery here. There is grumpiness, and sometimes the days seem too long with a lack of activities to conjure up, but in this first day of July, it is so delightful to dream of adventures ahead and linger over the memories already made.

What will be a part of your memory making this month? School holidays? Summer sweat? Hot stifling rooms and the whirring of a fan as it gently moves the air, trying so hard to cool over heated bodies.  Any mucking amidst creek banks or wading into cool blue pools? Or is it winter there? An eager approach to the days slowly getting longer?  A holding onto ear muffs, hats and scarves during brisk walks by the shore?
                         I would so love to know. xxoo