gosh. it is hard to believe that I haven't visited this space in so long. It is early morning here. My youngest, after having thrown up for a good portion of the wee early morning hours, is finally asleep on the couch. I am drinking much needed coffee and desperately trying to come up with a post that reconnects me to my online family. So ta-da! here it is.
I have missed being over in this space. As of late it has been hard to find several minutes to cobble together to write a full-fledged post. The moments ticking up to Thanksgiving were harder than I thought they would be. I was surprised that the absence of my mother felt raw and re-opened all over again. Loss is a funny thing and it often requires deep breaths; and then plowing on into life despite it all. Then, with the last week of November melting into Thanksgiving, then into Advent (along with everyone getting the stomach flu) I have spun myself silly with all sorts of imagined holiday merriment and busy-ness. Which quite frankly, I really don't like the spinning part, especially when my perfectionism coincides with my productivity being at an all time low.
I am vowing hence forth to not spin myself into a perfectionist frenzy -it defeats the purpose of any celebration. I love, love, love making things so I am trying to slow down long enough to give my self room for error AND time for craft. It is hard with the ever-looming deadline of December 25th, but I think I can make it to the other side. Craft, or no craft.
So note to self: give of your time and your craft, not of your spinning, feverish, holiday, crazy-making.
How are you handling the Holidays? I would love to know.
xxoo
This is a series called tuesday's notes. You are welcome to write along if you want, just leave a comment with your blog address if you decide to write one and I will be sure to come say hello. These "Notes" can be notes to your self (future, past or present), notes to the rude person who cut you off in line, notes to your children, note's to your parents... I think you get the idea. Would love if you "wrote along!" xo
Just wanted to say thank you for this post. It is true that loss moves us according to its own timetable. Sometimes unexpectedly.
ReplyDeleteFor myself, today I cried uncle on a lot of the things that are usually on my "holiday list." A painful shoulder has kept me from the embroidery hoop, no Christmas cards will be sent, and the house, except for the Advent wreath, looks decidedly November-y and none too clean.
I'm telling myself it will be ok. With my dear's help the presents will get wrapped, and goodies made. Beyond that, we will worship, we will eat, we will sit by the fire. And I WILL NOT allow my perfectionist beastie self to whisper that I'm letting anyone down.
I might have to remind myself lots.
Wishing you well.
So good to see you back!!!! I hope everyone is feeling better soon. I completely understand the chaos of the holidays and the being pulled in every direction!!!!! I have really learned in the last few years to let it all go - that expectation of perfection. It will always be ok - family will be together and anything that did not get "done" will not be missed. So slow down and enjoy the time of year for what it is. We are just happy to be in the US this year and with family - everything else is icing on the cake!!!!!
ReplyDeleteChey xoxo
Amid all our merriment and festivities, it's humbling to remember among us (and within us) we all have struggles. I hope your family is in full recover mode and wishing you a peaceful ride into Christmas. Good to see you back online…p.s. we still don't have our tree up yet!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back ... I was only thinking of you yesterday ... and hoping that all was well with you ... and here you are.
ReplyDeleteThere's no right or wrong way to move through the grieving process ... so take it as it comes ... at your own pace .... and be kind to yourself.
xx
So glad to read a post from you Rebecca. Sorry you are feeling a little raw. Please be kind to yourself, don't set yourself high expectations, just enjoy. Sorry your littlest man has been ill. I had a night a lot like that on Friday. I hope he's better now.
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