creating, letting go of thinking

I am trying to let go of my poor habit of intensely over-thinking while I simultaneously try to create. It is a difficult endeavor, especially for me. Most of the time, the way my thoughts flow and link together, this over-wrought over-thinkingness is what produces ideas for my creativity. However, it is a fine line for me, this path of thoughtfulness & art. Once I come up with a project or idea, I have to be able to lose myself into the spirit of the project. If I start to think about every little aspect of it, it becomes a kill-joy.

I have several projects at the boys' school that I am working on, and I find myself unable to lose myself into them. I know how I want them to look and it is incredibly difficult when time after time, they don't appear as I want them to appear. I KNOW that in my over-thinking, I have been rushing them. I have been trying to squeeze them in and rush them, push them through the deadlines, even though those deadlines are ones I set up for myself.  Right now, yes, right now, I KNOW, I should be researching dragons for the Lunar New Year, yet here I am. Stuck. and I am not sure how to unstick myself and let my mind drop back into place, drop away from itself. I am not sure how to let my mind unglue from the sticky franticness I have woven into these last few days.  Ultimately, I believe I have been over busy. Over busy, trying to squeeze in too many things, squeeze in too many things on top of parenting, on top of lovely friends, too many things on top of all the this and that, on top of all those things drawn up in this life.

I am suspended in my own inner working of thought filled-ness and the glue of a very busy life.

Then today after homework, B, snuggled his way into the chair nearest to mine and began to draw and paint. He used techniques he had learned in class and barely stopped to slow down until it was done. I love that he cobbled together what he wanted and just worked at the small job he assigned to himself. I loved watching him, I loved watching him release any worry he had and give himself over to his work, give himself over to the small task he created for himself.  I loved watching that unstoppable concentration and being.  And watching B work, watching him let go of his Self helps me a bit.  It helps me to relearn the quiet and the stillness of unstuckness, helps me to feel less sticky, helps me to be more present in my life.  Helps me in my need to unstick this thinking brain of mine & release the overcrowded thoughts I have. release my overcrowded thoughts. AND. just. create.

XXOO






& so I ask you this how do you let go? how do you become "unstuck" and move into your creative self? Let me know. xo