Oh that perfection though, it messes me up somedays; the desire to be the best, to be perfect at whatever I do. This desire doesn't always surface out from underneath my skin, but I think that the small girl in me, who never seemed to do anything quite right, so wants to be perfect at...something. This leads to quite an awkward outlook on life at times because it hinders my ability to see clearly or at least to have proper perspective on things. Perhaps my perfection is a desire to compete, a deep desire to compete with my Self. However healthy competition may be, I don't think that this internal struggle to be perfect, the lofty pedestal I place things I want to do or make, is healthy; especially because upon failure, I want to abandon ship, leave my wrecked project on a forgotten shore.
Ironically, people I love most in life, those folks who I cherish long walks with, sit down chats, or even admire from afar are folks who are far from perfect, in the sense that they love to embrace their faults and imperfections with vigor. They have a way of laughing and loving it all. They don't mind the bit of food stuck between their teeth in a photo or to dip their toes into something new -even though they know they will be miserable at it, the trying and the living is the most important part. So it seems silly that I would want to be perfect then, as I so love the flawed way us humans are.
Yesterday I read a post from the blog Simple Things Notebook where Dawn, the author, writes about a lesson learned in her design and sewing project "while I was disappointed that my idea did not work the way I had planned, and I even had to do some ripping out on the second run through, it was a good experience. Lessons were learned and ideas realized." It had me stop and think as I was already working on this post for today -yes, I thought, there are so many lessons to be had in what I would term failure. I realized I should instead label them as learning.
One of my favorite quotes is from the book Anne of Green Gables, by Lucy M. Montgomery, "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it." I am thinking though now that perhaps this messes me up (though I still do love the quote). Perhaps I should re-work it and instead state "Tomorrow is always fresh, full of mistakes to be made and learning to be had in it." So then I think that this first day of May is the perfect moment to let go some of this desire to be perfect. Let go of being perfect, even though I know I am not going to be perfect at it all, I am just learning how. Thoughts? What do your life's little hiccups bring to you? Lessons learned? Or failed perfection?
If you are yearning for some flowers and green on this first of May Day check out Littlegreenshed, there is a link there with many glorious foraged flower and plant. xxoo